Rain falls hard
Burns dry
A dream
Or a song
That hits you so hard
Filling you up
And suddenly gone

Breathe feel love
Give free
Know in your soul
Like your blood knows the way
From your heart to your brain
Knows that you're whole

And you're shining
Like the brightest star
A transmission
On the midnight radio
And you're spinning
Like a 45
Ballerina
Dancing to your rock and roll

Here's to Patti
And Tina
And Yoko
Aretha
And Nona
And Nico
And me
And all the strange rock and rollers
You know you're doing all right
So hold on to each other
You gotta hold on tonight

And you're shining
Like the brightest star
A transmission
On the midnight radio
And you're spinning
Your new 45
All the misfits and the losers
Yeah, you know you're rock and rollers
Spinning to your rock and roll

Lift up your hands
Lift up your hands

I need the name of a GOOD tattoo artist in the Los Angeles area - closer to South Bay the better.

I would like to have my mother's "monogram" tattoo'd on my leg before I leave LA.

On the stairs I smoke a
cigarette alone
Mexican kids are shootin'
fireworks below
Hey baby, it's the Fourth of July
Hey baby, it's the Fourth of July

What ever happened I
apologize
so dry your tears and baby
walk outside, it's the Fourth of July

In loving memory of Claire Louise Stewart, mother, sister, aunt and friend.

July 1, 1947 - July 4, 2008

I love you more than words can say. You are the prettiest mommy in the world, and always will be.

there is a reason i never became a mother. caring for another human being, being responsible for their life, is not an easy thing. i don't know how people do it.

it is especially hard to be the mother to *your mother*. to have to make choices that will change the course of her life - or if she will have a life. her care team said i would know the right choice when i saw it. my gut would tell me it's the right thing to do.

my gut has finally spoken. after two weeks, i finally know what to do. it's not an easy choice, but it's the best i can make for her right now. this is not the end of the journey by any means - in many ways, this is just the start of a new one.

i still don't know when i will be back in my home in dc. it will probably be at least another week or so. after that, it's still up in the air. for someone who is use to planning everything out in detail, this is the worst part of it.

my life in dc is on hold right now. i am not able to dj, hang out with my friends, sleep in my bed, or hold my husband. i am trying to support two households on less than half my normal salary. i am almost considering getting a part time job out here, if i could find someone willing to hire me.

i am living in a home that isn't mine. i am sleeping in a bed that doesn't feel right. everyday, i wake up not knowing how the day will end. i am trying to get out a bit, walk away from it all, but it's hard. i need to start taking walks every day - just stepping away from the work emails, the cell phone leash, the meows of little cats that miss their mother. it might provide me with a moment of peace.

thank you to everyone for their notes and support. i know i need something, but i can't begin to imagine what it is right now. i don't think you can "paypal" stability, can you?

Things are still going on, day by day. And that's all I have to look forward to for a while - one day at a time. Still don't know how long I will be out here, and still don't know what person I will be when I return.

Thank you for all your kind thoughts/words. I am reading them.

My mom has 8 adult cats, all of which are healthy, but will need new homes. We are trying to take 2 home to DC, but that still leaves 6 more cats.

If you live in the Los Angeles area, and can open your home to a cat, please respond here.

We will try to post pictures of them soon.

Do yourself and your loved ones a favor - go out right now and get an advance health care directive done for yourself.

I will be doing one as soon as I get home. That may be a while.

Finally got around to updating my Muxtape. Some of the tracks are older, but I still really like them so I added them.

Let me know what you think!

http://crossbonesdj.muxtape.com/

OK...I'm now in the (hopefully) last round.

It was a sad weekend in music, since both MOTOR and the Presets cancelled. I did not get my dancing fix this weekend, so I'm hoping things will change this week. I *did* get tickets to the Ting Tings in July, so that's some good news.

Most of the weekend was spent in the pool. The heat was getting to me, so just splashing in the water does me a world of good. When I get home tonight, it will be off to the pool again...I love where we live!

When I started seeing go-go fans shaking a tailfeather to These New Puritans, I realized that these guys are going to be big. Standing up front, between the go-go fans and the math-rock nerds (they seemed so shocked that a *girl* was rocking out to the band...and knew the words), I laughed and thought to myself "This is an underfiend moment if I have ever had one."

MOTOR has cancelled for tonight. Probably for the best - I have the Presets on Saturday and I'm running on about 5 hours of sleep right now. There are tons of things I want to do this weekend...like buy this dress, get measured for a new bra, and go swimming. Maybe hit the farmer's market again.

And yes, this is as exciting as it gets around here.

“Look, Juliet. You seem like a nice woman. But as you are a new kid on the block, let me just explain: Every finale, we let Jack think he’s off saving everyone, but while he goes off and fraks everything up, I actually come in and get it done. Big Time.” - Sayid

I'll be spinning between bands tonight at DC9 for the THESE NEW PURITANS show.

So, I should know by Friday if all the effort I put into the *insert big thing here* pays off. Fingers and toes crossed, ok?

There are very few things I enjoy more than sitting in the dark with the windows open in our new place, listening to the rain come down. While I'm not a huge fan of being *outside* during a storm, I do love it when they come and I can curl up on the couch and just take it in.

Last night, I had a good talk with Matt about the unease I have been feeling lately. I didn't know what it is, but I have been having a hard time relating to most people. I am not 100% sure what is causing it, but I think I have an idea:

Negativity

All around me, people are being very negative. I rarely see good news anymore, just more people complaining about things - most of which doesn't affect them in any real way. One of the reasons I rarely post anymore is that I don't want to complain on my journal. I would much rather talk about the good things going on in my life, and look past the bad. When I see other people just focusing on the bad, I start to move that way too...and I don't want to.

There is a lot going on in my life. I do NOT post it all on LiveJournal. Heck, I barely put any of it here. My life is private, but I'm happy to share things if you ask me. I'm tired of putting really important stuff "out there" and getting no reaction or follow-up from the people closest to me. Instead, I'm just keeping it simple and not telling many people about the things happening in my life.

"I split my pants in two dancing to your set."

I might have a hook-up to spin in Boston.

I hung out with Adam of She Wants Revenge, and had fun chatting with him. Hope we can hook up again in LA.

That was a good night.

Tonight, I get the chance to dj with Adam12 of She Wants Revenge.

Oh yeah - this rocks!!!

Last night, Matt and I watched "Recount", the HBO film regarding the 2000 election recounts in Florida. If you haven't watched it, I recommend you do. The acting was top notch, and the story...well, you couldn't make this up if you tried!

The best part about it was John Hurt as Warren Christopher...I am not going to say much more about it now, but all those well wishes? Well, they might mean I can find out how accurate the film was about him.